Yin Yoga

About two weeks ago, I bruised a shoulder bone while doing an “unscheduled dismount” from a forearm stand. My two year old didn’t let me come out of the pose as I had planned, so gravity enthusiastically introduced my right shoulder to the floor. About two days later, I couldn’t lift up my right arm without pain. I didn’t bother me that much, but vinyasas were out of the question. So I thought it would be good time to rest for a while. One week later and I was going crazy with withdrawal. I needed to practice asanas!

What was I to do? Ashtanga wasn’t option. I’m too broke to take some Bikram classes. I need something easy. So I thought about trying to find one of those “Yoga for old ladies” DVDs I mistakenly bought early on. No, it’s not really called "Yoga for old ladies", but that’s what I felt like when I used the DVD. I just couldn’t deal with just sitting in a poses for a few minutes at a time unless it was causing me to sweat. That type of yoga must be for old ladies with no upper body strength right? I thought is was boooooooring. Anyway, perhaps this would be a good time to give it another shot as I felt like a fragile old lady who couldn’t do a push up without a lot of pain. Therefore I decided on Tuesday to resign to my injury and try some of that boring gentle stuff once I put the kids to sleep that night.

As luck would have it, I was also finishing a book that day and needed a new one. For the past 4 months, I’ve read nothing but yoga books. Maybe there was a vampire book in there somewhere, but I’ve been studying/reading Yoga every day. The latest book, “Happy Yoga” by Steve Ross, was awesome. It’s more of a book on happiness than asanas, but it’s all yoga. Being a generally happy person, I didn’t get any moments of clarity from Steve’s book, but I really enjoyed his articulation on happiness and I think a lot of people could get something from that book.

Anyway, on my lunch break I headed down to this Yoga Studio/Bookstore/Health food store a few blocks away from my work to get a new book. I go there for lunch a lot because they have great cheap veggie food and the chicks at the cashier are usually cute. I don’t normally get my books from there do to the apparent snobbyness of the people who work there. Yoga snobs are the worst, but I digress. As I was looking around all of the books, one of them called out to me. I think it would have tapped me on the shoulder if it could, but it’s just a book and books just don’t do that.

As soon as I saw “Yin Yoga”, I remembered my good buddy Cody made a comment on this blog about how it was a good counterpart to my practice or something. I didn’t remember was she said, but if she said something about it, it must be good. Love the Cody. The description said something along the lines of “quiet” yoga and “connective tissue”, neither of which I had clue about. Perfect, I thought; Cody suggested it, seems gentle, might learn something about “connective tissue”. It spoke to me.

By the time 8 o’clock rolled around that night I had almost finished the book! Paul Grilley methodically explains meridians and connective tissue in a format that is easy for a westerner like me to digest. Some of the yoga books try to explain a concept along the line of “this is the way it is, you must have blind faith and follow along” which I just can’t do. For the first time, I was reading something about an intangible yoga “thing” and I didn’t feel like it was a sermon. Paul effective explained that most yoga is a “Yang” type of yoga that focuses solely on making muscles strong and flexible. “Yin” style yoga focuses on the connective tissue and/or fascia that holds your bones in place. Since this tissue is so deep, flowing yoga doesn’t yield enough time for the tissue to be stimulated. Long story short, you have to hold a pose for a long time in order for the tissue to begin to relax and subsequently heal.

I’ll try to keep this long short story shorter (if that makes sense).

My hips always seem tight so I stared with the sitting poses. At first, they seemed typical. “Sit this way and hold it for 5 minutes” was about the extent of the instruction. Seemed simple enough. I couldn’t help but have images pop in my head of the old ladies doing yoga. None of the poses were new to me, but I haven’t held any pose longer than 5 breaths (Ashtanga) or 60 seconds (Bikram). After about 2 minutes, something new started happening! I could feel new sensations, like warmth and energy, coming from the area I was working on. By the time I had gotten through a few poses, I really felt like something amazing was a happening. Opening the connective tissue seemed to allow energy to flow freely through me. Could these be meridians? I’d read about them. Yes, there were! Holy cow, I was actually feeling the energy opening up. This mystical shit isn’t so mystical after all!

After about an hour of practicing, I felt so light and energetic. My hips seemed so flexible, I just wanted to jump around. I even practiced a few karate kicks, which is something I do only when I’m drunk and want to annoy my wife. No, I don’t know actually know karate, but I really enjoy kicking in the air and making that “hiiiiiiiii-ya!” sound. Anyway, here I was enjoying “old lady yoga.” Then it hit me. The past 18 months of heavy duty asana practice had actually calmed me down enough to be able to listen to subtle changes in the body. My previous aversion to gentle style yoga had nothing to do with the yoga itself, it was all me. My mind raced way too much to pay attention to me, so I wrote it off as “old lady yoga.” I’ve read so much about how asanas calm the mind and here was tangible evidence. A MOMENT OF CLARITY!

To sum it all up, I’ve reached a milestone this week. I really feel that my mind has quieted enough for me to enjoy the subtler aspect of gentle asana practice. This is a really big deal for me because I didn’t know I could get to it. The whole meditation thing seemed to be on another planet until now. Now, it seems much closer. I figured out that I don’t need to sweat to feel results. Now I can sit in my living room, while my kids are running around, and do some good yoga. And I don’t think I’ll have an “unscheduled dismount” from butterfly pose.



From here on out, I’ll always include some Yin Yoga asanas into my practice.

Thanks C!

Reincarnation

A popular belief among yogi's is the reincarnation of the spirit. The laws of karma are observed and respected, and death isn't feared. And it is said that a person never really tries yoga for the first time. Rather, they practiced it in a former life. That's why so many yogis, I suspect, experienced a "wait, I have met you before" moment on the mat, early in their practice. I sure did.

My first yoga DVD was Rodney Yee's "Power Yoga". It appeared to be an athletic workout, so I gave it shot. I also bought a really cool mat. One side was Carolina Blue and the other side of the mat the color of the Duke Blue Devils. A true sports fan might chose a side and stick with it, but I figured it was some sort of Ying Yang thing that influenced the design. Brilliant really. And it had the silly little ridges all over it. Surely they were designed for something important. They spoke to me.

Anyway, I got home, ate a steak diner and put the kids to sleep so I could really enjoy the DVD in peace. Long story short, I stared sweating 10 minutes into it and I didn't really think I had done anything other than move around on the floor like I was playing with my kids. 30 minutes into it and I was drentched. The heat was amazing. I got it right then and there. It made sense. A moment of clarity if you will. This is familiar to me. It fit me like a trusty pair of blue jeans. It seemed like I had done this yoga before.

I suspect most yogis know exactly what I am talking about. When you get it, you get it; the vinyasa, the sequence of the asanas, the breathing (pranayama), the sensations, the concentration... it makes sense. I understood the goal of it, and it wasn't just a nice ass. Yoga seemed to have found me. I have this feeling like I was always going to practice yoga, sooner or later.

In hindsight, it makes perfect sense that I am now devoted to my practice. The evidence is there. I mimicked lotus pose as a child after I saw it on TV. My mom made a big deal out if it when I sat that way. The satisfaction I got from saying "look what I can do Mom" and twisting my legs up foreshadowed the "look what I can do Craig" moments, when I reach a new landmark in a posture and I am utterly elated. And I always liked meeting people who did yoga. They were like healthy hippies. They were aloof and distracted at the same time which may not actually be possible, technically speaking. They took something serious, but it wasn't themselves. Good times, those yoga folks.

Reincarnation is beyond my current understanding of things, but I am keeping an open mind. We'll see what happens in my studies. Maybe I did practice in a former life. I always did like saying the word "yoga".

Serious about Yoga

Someone told me I might be getting too serious about my Yoga practice.

I told her to kiss my mula bandha.

Chanting is silly.

And that’s the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it. My most recent DVD purchase introduced me to it and I gotta say: It’s kinda cool. First of all, there is something very soothing about doing an “oooohhhhmmmmmmm.” The deeper frequencies produced have a vibrating effect that is similar to the way bass feels from a nice sound system. When you stack your voice on top of others, it really feels like you’re making music. I would imagine The Three Tenors experienced the same unifying feeling as a room full of yogis getting there ohm on. The Sanskrit poems are cool too. While I have no idea what I am saying, repeating the verses helps my mind focus and prepare for the practice ahead. Actually, I don’t think I would like it as much if I knew what I was chanting. I just assume its something wonderful. I discovered this affection for chatting last night when I practiced from memory and a book, instead of a DVD. As I prepared my first Surya Namaskar, I was distracted by the absence of the chanting I was used to doing every night following my DVD. So I gave myself an individual ohm to get started. Chanting has its benefits, but I do feel a little silly chanting about a subject I am unfamiliar in a foreign language. No problem. I’ll take any opportunity to be silly.

It’s been a minute!

Looking at this blog, I just now realized I haven’t posted anything this month! We spent a week on vacation in NC where I have never been happier than when I was playing on the beach with my kids. I planned on visiting different studios during the week, but I sprained my ankle on the first day while I was playing in the sand. So no practice for me for a WHOLE WEEK!

And what difference a week makes. I resumed my home practice this Sunday with a Beginners Practice Ashtanga DVD and it kicked my ass. The combination of having a week off and my intense Bikram practice last month yielded me a relatively week upper body. The Bikram method doesn’t develop the upper body strength as much as some other methods due in part to the lack of Vinyasas which I really enjoy. So downward dog wasn’t as relaxing as it was before, when I was doing a lot of “Power Yoga.” Bikram is on hold for now. I absolutely love the practice but I am a little short on funds and I really want to take some Mysore style classes next month. Hence, I am practicing Ashtanga every night!

I want to take a moment to thank Peter at Bikram Montclair for his encouragement and his venue. Practicing at his studio has helped mature many ideas I have regarding yoga and the rest of my life. I have made some commitments this past month that would have been delayed, if I had not found such a good teacher and studio to match my needs. Namaste dude!

Last night I practiced the Ashtanga Primary Series for the first time. Davis Swenson’s book is awesome (thanks Whitney!)! I started at about 8 pm and before I knew it, I was dripping wet and the time was 9:30. Nicki Dione’s Beginners DVD was helpful in preparing my upper body and legs for the primary series as well as helping me memorize the opening sun salutations and some of the standing series. The book helped fill in the blanks of the standing series, plus introduce me to the sitting series. Good times.

The series is very difficult for me and it will take a lot of discipline to successfully complete it. Through this structured practice, I hope to recognize improvement more so than if I was bouncing all over the place with different methods like I have the past year and a half. Both Bikram and Ashtanga have a defined logical progression of asanas that generate heat and flexibility. Anyone who knows me would probably not describe me as “disciplined” so I find it a little ironic I am attracted to these methods.

Long story short: I am resigning to yoga. In a few years, I’ll be trading my cubical for a full time mat. The dichotomy of my corporate and domestic life is coming to an end. I’m not sure which path I’ll take but the destination is clear. My goal is to be a better person, husband and father. I am very fortunate to have a supporting wife, family and friends to help me along the way. Here goes.

The wife's feedback

So I presented my “Atheism and Yoga? “ post to my wife. After my 5 minute presentation, her response was “Don’t be ridiculous. Yoga is whatever you want it to be. Where is the remote?” I think Alla might be the reincarnation of David Sedaris’s Mom.

Across the Universe

Some people use God as a medium to feel at one with the universe, but I don’t need him. I have Bikram Yoga.

While I may not believe there is an omnipotent God that created everything in the universe, I don’t let that get in the way of feeling connected to the universe. After all, we are all connected to each other and everything around us. I don’t mean that in a mystical kind of way. I mean we are literally and physically connected to everything around us. We are made up of matter and energy that affects the matter and energy around us. There is a chain reaction to every breath we take or movement we make that reverberates around the universe, albeit on a very small and usually immeasurable scale. When I say immeasurable, I mean to say we (some more than others) do not have the understanding or the technology to measure this connection. But I digress; this is not a post on chemistry or string theory.

At feel most connected to the universe when I am in my Birkam studio. From the immeasurable stimulus such as public-induced motivation to well know physics such as gravity and temperature, I really feel it!

There is something about moving threw the asanas (poses) in unison with the people around you that is “tangible” to me. While I am not touching or even looking at anyone else, I feel them. Call it motivation, encouragement or inspiration, but do NOT call it a competition unless you want a very polite scolding from any seasoned yogi, working the method in public yields a stimulus I don’t find in my living room. I don’t know how to measure or test this relationship, but the presence of others affects my behavior. I feel connected to everyone in the room. From this, I can’t help but query my connection to the people walking by the studio to the people shopping on the other side of town to the tourist in Times Square to Kevin Bacon to the soldiers in Iraq and so on and so on. Certainly proximity to ones neighbor has something to do with how influential ones presence is to another, but we are all connected however vague it may be.

Life as we know it is due to a perfect marriage of physics and chemistry. The laws of physics gave us a suitable environment to host life and chemistry took it from there. As I struggle to hold form in trikanasana (triangle pose), I am fully aware that I am battling the same gravitational forces that formed my planet. Gravity is one of the many “laws” that are essential to life. What if we didn’t have gravity? If it took no effort to hold this asana for 60 LONG seconds, water would not flow. What then?

Speaking of water flowing, the streams of sweat running off of my body are product of millions and millions of years of evolution. My fore fathers who didn’t have sweat glands died a long time ago and didn’t pass along their obsolete genes to me. There is no way I could do Bikram yoga without the perfect process of natural selection. Sweating reminds me of this process and the sacrifices my non-sweating ancestors made for my existence.

Speaking of sweat, I can smell the chemical reaction taking place between my 190 pound body with the tiniest particles of bacterial that live in and on it. It wasn’t that long ago that we had no idea bacteria existed. We had no way of measuring bacteria and other germs for an overwhelming majority, to put it lightly, of human existence. So I can understand why the cause of plagues was commonly assigned to some pissed off God.

Speaking of people creating the concept of devine intervention to explain what they can not understand… oh never mind.

This reality is not new to me, but it is sometimes forgotten as I try to make my next deadline at work or while I am changing my kid’s diapers. Before yoga, these thoughts popped up her and there, but I never spent much time connecting them. My practice provides a sanctuary for me to feel at one with the universe. It wasn’t to long ago that I couldn’t uses words like “sanctuary” or phrases like “one with the universe” without feeling a little silly. I now look forward to moving on. Thank you Bikram.

Atheism and Yoga?

Is atheism compatible with yoga?

Yoga entered my life about a year and a half ago. I was approaching my mid thirties with an expanding waistline and declining athletic ability. I was looking at the beginning of the end, in regards to me surrendering to fast food and poor health, and I was spooked. Yoga was something I never tried, yet I knew I would like it. I can’t explain it, I just knew I would get into it. This hypothesis was similar to the way I felt about NYC, before I ever stepped foot in NYC. Long story short, I bought some DVDs and fell into a routine practice in my own personal yoga studio. For at least three or four nights a week, my living room witnessed a bond develop between me and my yoga mat.

Around the same time, my atheist beliefs matured. After being an agnostic for most of my life, a series of events helped me define the answers I had been looking for. Beginning with September 11th, I started questioning religious faith and its place in the world. With these events, I began to pay much closer attention to faith based current events. With the birth of my children, research on natural selection and my new interest in reading, I grew quite comfortable with what I had always known as true. More importantly, I was able to articulate my views to myself. But that is a different and much much longer story.

Recently, I turned my yoga practice up to eleven by attending Bikram yoga classes. Actually my first class was a “Lunar Vinyasa” class that was cute, but I wasn’t feeling the poems and crystals. I am not able to pretend to feel the vibes from inanimate objects. Anyway, Bikram suits me fine as it challenges me mentally and physically without compromising my views on deities and mystic rocks. With great enthusiasm, I subject myself to this torture as often as I can. I don’t know where I’ll end up with it, but I know I’ll be beyond the point of no return.

Very recently, I have been thinking beyond the Bikram method. I love it, but I know I will need to diversify my practice. There are so many types of yoga out there. I feel like a kid in a candy store and I want to taste everything. Well, maybe not everything. I bought a few DVDs that failed to meet my needs. Some of the techniques included 30 minutes of lying on your back and feeling your belly move up and down. From this, I gather there is a lot of yoga out there that will not be a good fit for me. I am looking for a mental and physical challenge, without all the silly stuff. Say what you want about X number of people believing in that kind of stuff, but I will not apologize for my own views.

My research indicates the Ashtanga method seems to be palatable. Most of my favorite DVDs include poses I find when I Google Ashtanga. Granted, most of the Bikram and Ashtanga poses are years away from my grasp, I look forward to the challenge. As I face this challenge, I look forward to learning a lot about myself and I look forward to gaining all of the benefits of different methods of yoga. However I do have some anxiety that I will, at some point, be asked to follow some theist line of thought.

So how far can I take yoga? I know when I like something and I know when I’ll do it for the rest of my life. Over the past few weeks, I have seriously entertained working in NYC for about five more years while I gain experience. Once I reach a mental and physical state that I capable of, I’ll give up the rat race for teacher training so I can open my own studio somewhere. I hope. Can I do this? Is atheism compatible with yoga?

The first thing you notice is the heat.

It’s kind of like walking into a crowded night club at about 3 am, when the party is peaking. You have expectations and anticipations, but the heat hits you fast and you forget about everything else. The idea exercising in this 105 degree room for the next 90 minutes encourages a more local thought process. There are 26 different poses or series of poses that I’ll do twice. About 23 of the poses are serious work. That means I have about 46 chances to do everything I can do to just keep my shit together. The 10:30 am Defect Triage call tomorrow is the last thing on my mind.

BTW, chicks dig me

I took my first yoga class

So, I've been practicing yoga in my living room for about a year and a half, 3 to 4 times a week. After having two kids, I was up to about 220 pounds and I decided it was time to get into shape. My young family is so awesome, I want to make sure I live a long time and enjoy them. Hence, get in shape! Yoga was attractive to me because most of the people I know who practice it are… attractive. Yoga offers many benefits. “You can practice your whole life.” The whole increased strength and flexibility thing was appealing too, but when it comes down to it, I want to look good naked. Yoga, with some pilates mixed in, seemed to be a perfect fit. So I dove in. Of course I had my good months and bad months, but I did try to keep a routine and I made a lot of progress. In the beginning, I was very NOT flexible. Sitting Indian style was uncomfortable for me. But that would eventually change.

Classes were out of the question for me at the time as I KNEW the yogis (a term used to describe people who do yoga) would silently smirk at my inflexibility the same way NYC hipsters regard tourist with matchy outfits. Additionally, the Southern upbringing has programmed into me an aversion to offend others. Assuming there is a yogi culture with unwritten rules, I had questions. Do I say hello to other students or bow my head like a humble monk? What if I fart? What do I wear? Do I have to light a candle before entering the room? Can I bring water? Do I offer a white silk scarf to the teacher? I’ve read Seven Years in Tibet, so I know there is some protocol for these things.

Perhaps yoga is like Fight Club. You know, “the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club.” I had anxiety about being the new guy in the room and wanted to be prepared. Ignorance is something I embrace as I am a fast learner. But I wasn’t in the best shape. I figured if I was in shape, my inadequate knowledge base of yoga etiquette would be tolerable. So I resigned to working out in my living room until I felt confident to go to a class.

Thankfully, the robust exercise DVD section of Barnes and Nobles yielded lots of options. I found out that the “beginner” DVDs were a waste of time for me. Lots of breathing and stretching but no sweat. They didn’t feel productive. Many of the DVDs I bought were too… mystical. For me, the chanting and deity blessings were silly. It took a while for me to find the right kind of yoga. Eventually I found a lot of “PowerYoga” DVDs and I found a great show on the Oxygen network called “Inhale,” hosted by Steve Ross. Steve doesn’t get caught up in rules and technique. MTV has a yoga and pilates series of DVDs that rocks! The host of this series, Kristin McGee, is quite cute, easy to follow and annoyingly capable. Once I found the right kind of yoga, I hit the ground running.

In a year and a half, I lost/converted about 30 pounds. I completely changed my body. At first, the weight scale was a good measure of my progress as my weight dropped. Eventually, my weight reached a plateau as I lost fat but gained muscle. My clothes started to fit differently or not fit at all. My flexibility has increased dramatically as has my strength. Yoga produces what I call honest strength. The muscles you develop are very lean and efficient. They don’t get big a bulky. I felt like I learned how to better use the most potential of my muscles. So I wasn’t upset that I didn’t develop huge pectorals. Every part of my body was becoming solid. The benefits of my yoga practice were very visible. I knew I would probably do it for the rest of my life so I might need to start considering taking it to the next level. It’s time for a class.

But what class do I take? All of the websites I visited suggested the “beginning” class, but I feared I would be under whelmed, just like the “beginning” DVDs. I didn’t want my first experience to scar me. I want a good workout, without all the hippy stuff. Being a big fan of reason, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold my amusement if the class started humming at a crystal or something, and I don’t want to offend. So I didn’t consider the “beginner” classes or any class curriculum that used phrases like “sacred yogic text.” Anyhow, I went to a “Lunar Vinyasa” class one Friday night. I knew “Vinyasa” was a series of poses so it might be athletic. “Lunar” must be a reference to the time of the class so it seemed like a good fit. So after much consultation with my wife and friends with yoga class experience, I figured out what to wear and headed down to my first yoga class.

Honestly, I was a nervous wreck. Fortunately, I was greeted by an employee who was also new to yoga and was working at the studio so she could take free classes. She gave me a tour of the facility and spoke softly as we passed the yoga room. “Be sure to take your shoes off before you enter,” she said. I was so happy to learn a rule. Imagine the horror the other students would feel if I walked into the room with my footwear. I was grateful for the advice as it reduced the risk of offending anyone. With great enthusiasm, I took off my flip flops and headed into the room.

There were five people already in the room. Some were lying down, some were stretching. Then I panicked. I couldn’t decipher what was the front or the back of the room! I had googled “yoga etiquette” and all the results mentioned that the yoga room should be quiet before and after the class. Dare I ask someone where to lay my mat? Or do I risk putting my mat in a potentially offensive location? I don’t want to block anyone’s view, even though I don’t know what they will be viewing and in what direction. With apologies, I quietly asked the person next to me what I should do. “First class!” I said with subdued zest. She smiled, welcomed me to class and told me the class layout is usually in a circle. “You’ll sleep well tonight” she said. Awesome! I noticed I bowed a little when I thanked her. I don’t know why. Then I noticed that the other students gathering provisions for class, so I followed suit. I grabbed two blocks, two straps and a big blanket (maybe a nap afterward?), just like the other students.

I was a little worried when the teacher lit a few candles at the beginning of class. Again, I’m not into the meta-physical yoga stuff, just trying to get a good workout. Long story short, it was an OK workout, but I can live without the candles and poems. My provisions were unused, as I was able to perform all of the poses and usually assumed the more difficult stances. I was very happy to find out I didn’t have a problem keeping up, so I thought I would do something more challenging. My wife and few of my buddies suggested the Bikram method, but I thought that would be too intense. When I asked my Lunar Vinyasa teacher which classes I should take if I wanted a more challenging workout, she told me I was quite capable of attending any of the level 2 or 2-3 classes they offer. She was visibly surprised when I told her this was my first class. This was such an ego boost for me. Not only was my ability sufficient for this class, but I was encouraged to attend the most difficult ones too! At this point I decide to get serious about my practice. So Bikram it is. Why not go there? Everyone I know who has tried it swears by it or FUCKING HATES it. I took my 1st Bikram class, second yoga class ever, the Sunday morning after my Friday night vinyasa class. Long story short… 90 minutes of strenuous (if you desire) poses in 105 degree heat. It was many many things. It was torture as much as it was liberating. For some reason, I had a lot of fun making myself completely miserable.

It is now 11 days later and I have returned 5 more times.