I took my first yoga class

So, I've been practicing yoga in my living room for about a year and a half, 3 to 4 times a week. After having two kids, I was up to about 220 pounds and I decided it was time to get into shape. My young family is so awesome, I want to make sure I live a long time and enjoy them. Hence, get in shape! Yoga was attractive to me because most of the people I know who practice it are… attractive. Yoga offers many benefits. “You can practice your whole life.” The whole increased strength and flexibility thing was appealing too, but when it comes down to it, I want to look good naked. Yoga, with some pilates mixed in, seemed to be a perfect fit. So I dove in. Of course I had my good months and bad months, but I did try to keep a routine and I made a lot of progress. In the beginning, I was very NOT flexible. Sitting Indian style was uncomfortable for me. But that would eventually change.

Classes were out of the question for me at the time as I KNEW the yogis (a term used to describe people who do yoga) would silently smirk at my inflexibility the same way NYC hipsters regard tourist with matchy outfits. Additionally, the Southern upbringing has programmed into me an aversion to offend others. Assuming there is a yogi culture with unwritten rules, I had questions. Do I say hello to other students or bow my head like a humble monk? What if I fart? What do I wear? Do I have to light a candle before entering the room? Can I bring water? Do I offer a white silk scarf to the teacher? I’ve read Seven Years in Tibet, so I know there is some protocol for these things.

Perhaps yoga is like Fight Club. You know, “the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club.” I had anxiety about being the new guy in the room and wanted to be prepared. Ignorance is something I embrace as I am a fast learner. But I wasn’t in the best shape. I figured if I was in shape, my inadequate knowledge base of yoga etiquette would be tolerable. So I resigned to working out in my living room until I felt confident to go to a class.

Thankfully, the robust exercise DVD section of Barnes and Nobles yielded lots of options. I found out that the “beginner” DVDs were a waste of time for me. Lots of breathing and stretching but no sweat. They didn’t feel productive. Many of the DVDs I bought were too… mystical. For me, the chanting and deity blessings were silly. It took a while for me to find the right kind of yoga. Eventually I found a lot of “PowerYoga” DVDs and I found a great show on the Oxygen network called “Inhale,” hosted by Steve Ross. Steve doesn’t get caught up in rules and technique. MTV has a yoga and pilates series of DVDs that rocks! The host of this series, Kristin McGee, is quite cute, easy to follow and annoyingly capable. Once I found the right kind of yoga, I hit the ground running.

In a year and a half, I lost/converted about 30 pounds. I completely changed my body. At first, the weight scale was a good measure of my progress as my weight dropped. Eventually, my weight reached a plateau as I lost fat but gained muscle. My clothes started to fit differently or not fit at all. My flexibility has increased dramatically as has my strength. Yoga produces what I call honest strength. The muscles you develop are very lean and efficient. They don’t get big a bulky. I felt like I learned how to better use the most potential of my muscles. So I wasn’t upset that I didn’t develop huge pectorals. Every part of my body was becoming solid. The benefits of my yoga practice were very visible. I knew I would probably do it for the rest of my life so I might need to start considering taking it to the next level. It’s time for a class.

But what class do I take? All of the websites I visited suggested the “beginning” class, but I feared I would be under whelmed, just like the “beginning” DVDs. I didn’t want my first experience to scar me. I want a good workout, without all the hippy stuff. Being a big fan of reason, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold my amusement if the class started humming at a crystal or something, and I don’t want to offend. So I didn’t consider the “beginner” classes or any class curriculum that used phrases like “sacred yogic text.” Anyhow, I went to a “Lunar Vinyasa” class one Friday night. I knew “Vinyasa” was a series of poses so it might be athletic. “Lunar” must be a reference to the time of the class so it seemed like a good fit. So after much consultation with my wife and friends with yoga class experience, I figured out what to wear and headed down to my first yoga class.

Honestly, I was a nervous wreck. Fortunately, I was greeted by an employee who was also new to yoga and was working at the studio so she could take free classes. She gave me a tour of the facility and spoke softly as we passed the yoga room. “Be sure to take your shoes off before you enter,” she said. I was so happy to learn a rule. Imagine the horror the other students would feel if I walked into the room with my footwear. I was grateful for the advice as it reduced the risk of offending anyone. With great enthusiasm, I took off my flip flops and headed into the room.

There were five people already in the room. Some were lying down, some were stretching. Then I panicked. I couldn’t decipher what was the front or the back of the room! I had googled “yoga etiquette” and all the results mentioned that the yoga room should be quiet before and after the class. Dare I ask someone where to lay my mat? Or do I risk putting my mat in a potentially offensive location? I don’t want to block anyone’s view, even though I don’t know what they will be viewing and in what direction. With apologies, I quietly asked the person next to me what I should do. “First class!” I said with subdued zest. She smiled, welcomed me to class and told me the class layout is usually in a circle. “You’ll sleep well tonight” she said. Awesome! I noticed I bowed a little when I thanked her. I don’t know why. Then I noticed that the other students gathering provisions for class, so I followed suit. I grabbed two blocks, two straps and a big blanket (maybe a nap afterward?), just like the other students.

I was a little worried when the teacher lit a few candles at the beginning of class. Again, I’m not into the meta-physical yoga stuff, just trying to get a good workout. Long story short, it was an OK workout, but I can live without the candles and poems. My provisions were unused, as I was able to perform all of the poses and usually assumed the more difficult stances. I was very happy to find out I didn’t have a problem keeping up, so I thought I would do something more challenging. My wife and few of my buddies suggested the Bikram method, but I thought that would be too intense. When I asked my Lunar Vinyasa teacher which classes I should take if I wanted a more challenging workout, she told me I was quite capable of attending any of the level 2 or 2-3 classes they offer. She was visibly surprised when I told her this was my first class. This was such an ego boost for me. Not only was my ability sufficient for this class, but I was encouraged to attend the most difficult ones too! At this point I decide to get serious about my practice. So Bikram it is. Why not go there? Everyone I know who has tried it swears by it or FUCKING HATES it. I took my 1st Bikram class, second yoga class ever, the Sunday morning after my Friday night vinyasa class. Long story short… 90 minutes of strenuous (if you desire) poses in 105 degree heat. It was many many things. It was torture as much as it was liberating. For some reason, I had a lot of fun making myself completely miserable.

It is now 11 days later and I have returned 5 more times.